"The Adventures of Captain Knutz" - Part Two

 Part Two

            There was no simple way Mireya could sit in Elder Rock comfortably. It was a space literally made for children by children. The entrance was rather small, yet somehow Mireya and Kara managed to squeeze through it, mostly by sucking in. Craig had no trouble whatsoever.

            While there was plenty of head space for them, their noggins just an inch or two shy of touching the massive boulder that sat precariously above the grotto, there was just no getting past the foul smell that only teen boys could relate to. It was like being in a boys’ locker room. Kara sunk herself in an available beanbag chair, whereas Mireya sat on a folding chair. At first, she sat with her legs crossed, but that just drove the hormone-fueled elders crazy. Because of this, she sat the regular way, readjusting her skirt to keep her legs entirely covered.

            “We must profess that you’ve surprised us with your visitation, ladies,” Elder Mark said, taking great joy in talking to the beautiful adult women. “It has been eons since you’ve graced us with your presence in these new, improved, and far more eloquent bodies.”

            “Far more eloquent?” Kara repeated his words in scorn. “Are you implying that our previous bodies weren’t?”

            “N-No!” Elder Barry stammered. “They were very nice – especially yours.” He gestured to Mireya. “As a matter of fact, we were wondering if you could turn back into Miss Rania whenever you want.”

            Mireya rolled her eyes in disgust. “Can we move on to the real reason we’re here please?”

            “Yes, of course,” Elder Mark established. “Craig tells us you wish to precure one authentic pirate sword, correct?”

            “Correct,” Kara verified. “May we have it?”

            “No, you may not,” Mark denied.

            Craig frowned along with Kara and Mireya. “Why not?” he demanded to know. “It’s not like it belongs to anyone. You guys found it floating in a stream.”

            “Yes, we were the ones to find it, ergo we are its sole owners,” Mark affirmed.

            Kara glanced to where the elders were keeping Captain Knutz’s sword, just sitting among the junkpile. It infuriated her to see the weapon of her childhood hero – evidence of his actual existence – treated in such a distasteful way by some adolescent, pimple-faced boys that never even heard of Captain Knutz.

            It would be easy just to snatch the sword from the spot and run out of the grotto with it in hand. The elders were just weak teens, and she was the Gladiator of Gallifrey. She’s battled Daleks, Cybermen, Terminators, every opponent in the Mortal Kombat tournament, and even Satan himself. What would three punk kids do to her?

            She almost made her move in that moment, until Mireya motioned for the both of them and Craig to huddle up. “I’ve got an idea,” she whispered. “I’m going to pull off the slither maneuver on these so-called ‘elders,’ while you two beeline out with the sword.”

            “The slither maneuver?” Craig repeated with a questioning frown. “What’s that?”

            “Just watch, sweetheart,” Mireya winked.

            They broke from their huddle and Mireya faced the elders. “Hey, fellas,” she said. “Look at that big ol’ snake!” She pointed to a random corner of the cave.

            This maneuver had just the effect they desired, as the elders were totally scared and distracted by the non-existent snake. Seizing her chance, Kara grabbed the sword and dashed out of the cave with Craig and Mireya.

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            With Captain Knutz’s sword in their more capable hands, they returned to the TARDIS to have it scanned along one portion of the control console for nuage energy. The results were irrefutable – the sword came from a dimension where Captain Knutz truly existed. Following up on this verification, Kara inputted the data into the TARDIS computer, transporting them across the Infinite DC and to Knutz’s world.

            She, Mireya, and Craig were welcomed by the fresh scent of almonds, as soon as they stepped out of the ship. “Almond Town!” she identified their location – a quaint coastal village that looked to be 18th century from the old-world designs of the houses, taverns, and shops. The men and women were dressed in the fittings of the era, some more dignified than others. And, much to the satisfaction of the three interdimensional travelers, it was a very diversified society.

            “So, this is the world of Captain Knutz,” Mireya observed, her hands amusingly resting on her hips. “I like it already.”

            “Everything here smells like roasted nuts,” Craig noted. “It’s making me hungry.”

            “Then you’ll wanna go to Cashew Tavern, lil’ bro,” Kara said, her excitement bubbling over. “But, first, we’re gonna have to change how we look. If we’re going on this journey, we’re gonna do it right!”

            Mireya and Craig followed her back in the TARDIS to change clothes.

            Kara once again ditched her hoodie, but instead of an uncomfortable mini-dress, she slipped into some adventurous pirate garb that she cobbled together from articles gathered from previous trips, including a genuine pirate captain’s hat. The only contemporary thing that she kept on were her blue skinny jeans.

            Mireya was inspired by Kara’s look for the journey, making a few quick alterations to her green-black corset dress. By the time she was done, she looked like a pirate outlaw. “Geena Davis, eat your heart out!” she said as she looked at herself in the mirror of the TARDIS wardrobe room.

            Whereas Kara and Mireya had no trouble in finding suitable costumes, Craig had a bit of difficulty. “Nothing in here is small enough for me!” he griped while wearing a naval jacket that was five times his size, throwing it off himself in frustration.

            “Aww,” Mireya pitied him. “I’m sure we can find something for you, babe.”

            “I know,” Kara said, reaching into one of her sleeve pockets to retrieve a black eyepatch that sported the skull-and-crossbones model, handing it over to Craig. “See if this works for ya, lil’ bro.”

            Craig put the eyepatch over his right eye and gave a hearty “Argh!”

            “So cute!” Mireya gushed over his subtle change. “I wish I had my camera!”

            “We’ll take selfies later, Pop,” the overeager Kara insisted. “Right now, adventure awaits us!”