"Dale Against the Universe" - Part Two

Part Two

            To say I was upset to see my wife with another man would be the understatement of the millennium. No, I was positively furious. But I kept my cool for Kristin’s sake. After all, she didn’t recognize me or Neas, not particularly after Neas introduced us and Craig as the new neighbors – a married couple and their son. Neas used his “Thomas” alias, while Craig and I kept our usual names. Of course, we couldn’t use “Curtsinger” as surnames, so we went with Craig’s family name (“Williams”).

            We must’ve put on a reasonable first impression, since we were invited in for dinner. I was in a foul mood through most of it. Kristin whipped us up some fried chicken with mashed potatoes, green peas, and her delectable gravy. It was good to know she still had a strong southern palate, even all this way out west.

            Dale was an interesting man, to say the least.

            The topic that took up most of our dinner conversation was him being a veteran actor in film and television, hence how he could afford the mansion that he and Kristin lived in together. His most famous role was that of the title character of the children’s show from the mid-2010s, Captain Knutz.

            “I thought I recognized you!” Neas beamed upon learning this factoid. “I used to watch you as Captain Knutz when I was a kid!”

            Dale’s brow crinkled. “You must be a lot younger than you look.”

            Thankfully, Craig took everyone’s minds off of the awkwardness Neas’s remark spurred when he asked, “What’s Captain Knutz?”

            “One of the absolute best pirate shows, lil’ br—I mean, son,” Neas said (with a very subtle recovery). “Captain Knutz is the main character – a witty, scruffy pirate with a talking parrot sidekick named ‘Krackers’ and a crew of misfits that sail off on adventures, visiting islands with unique characters. One episode, they’re on an island made of chocolate; the next episode, they’re in a place haunted by ghosts!”

            Seeing little Craig’s eyes light up from Neas’s description of the children’s program warmed both of my hearts. It momentarily took my mind off of why I sat there at that table, feeling so angry.

            My parental instincts flared as I saw his face covered with bits of mashed potatoes. I grabbed at the napkin that he neglected to use and started wiping his face, as if I was his real mother, when I heard Kristin suddenly ask me, “Are you feeling alright, darling?” I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant until she pointed to my plate, which I hardly touched. “You haven’t eaten anything.”

            All attention shifted on me in that moment. “I’m fine,” I dismissed, sounding firmer than I intended. I decided quickly to change the subject. “So, Kristin…how did you and Dale meet?”

            This oughta be good.

            Dale was the first to speak up, gingerly taking Kristin’s hand at their corner of the table as he reminisced, “It was the weirdest time. Kristin just moved to Cali, starting a new life after her previous husband passed on.” My left eye twitched a bit. The rest of Dale’s story sounded muffled to my ears, having burnt from hearing the words “passed on.”

            Neas later filled me in on the details that I missed.

            Apparently, Dale and Kristin met at the grocery store one day, accidentally bumping carts and several times again after that. After the sixth bump, Dale gathered the courage to ask Kristin out. From there, the rest is history.

            “Sounds romantic,” Neas complimented, whisked away by the story.

            Me, on the other hand…I was sickened to my stomach, but I wisely chose not to say a word.

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            I wasn’t any better later that night in Neas’s TARDIS, which we kept parked right outside Dale’s mansion, albeit cloaked by a high-density perception filter. I checked on the status of that filter, while Neas and Craig sat with their butts sunk deep into yellow and blue beanbags, watching an episode of Captain Knutz on the console room wall screen…and enjoying every second it while eating large tubs of popcorn.

            “Who’s she?” I heard Craig ask him, pointing to the screen. I tried not to pay any mind to the program, having seen more than enough of Dale’s regular face instead of his “Knutz” character. But, curious of Craig’s inquiry, I glanced for a fleeting moment to see one pirate character – a Scandinavian blonde.

            “She’s Knutz’s nemesis, Captain Kelly,” Neas explained. “She’s such a cool villainess! I used to dress up as her every Halloween when I was your age.”

            I thought I’d recognized that “Captain Kelly” character. Neas, of course, being born a girl in his original incarnation had the same privileges as most 21st century girls on Earth. Sometimes, I would forget that, having journeyed with this male incarnation of them for so long.

            “Ain’t nuttin’ but a peanut for Captain Knutz!” That was the catchphrase uttered by Dale’s character before he’d go off and do something heroic on the show. Neas and Craig were like two boys at a sleepover, cheering and hollering whenever Dale/Knutz was onscreen. It made me more than a little jealous – enough to switch off the viewscreen to the shared groans of Neas and Craig.

            “I do believe one of you should be in bed right now,” I specifically singled Craig out with that same stern look I used to give Candace every Friday night. Back then, my eyes were outlined by bushy eyebrows and crow’s feet, adding to the sternness. With Rania’s kind and tender young eyes, it probably wasn’t nearly as effective.

            Nonetheless, Craig knew better than to test my patience. “I was getting a little sleepy,” he admitted, whether he was being truthful or just to appease me, I couldn’t really tell. He got up from the beanbag, setting his popcorn tub down next to it. “Thanks for the show, Neas! I wanna watch more of it some other time.”

            “I’ve loaded up all six seasons to the TARDIS computer,” Neas said. “We’ll be marathoning it for weeks!”

            On that thrilling guarantee, Craig happily headed off to bed, but not before I could leave him with a goodnight kiss to his forehead (much as it annoyed him). As soon as Neas and I had the console room to ourselves, he approached me and said, “So, you wanna talk about what happened at dinner earlier?”

            “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

            And I really didn’t. I wasn’t being cagy in any way.

            “What I’m talking about is what Ma told Dale about you having ‘passed on’,” Neas clarified. My eye twitched again, and Neas definitely noticed it. “We should tell her the truth, Pop.”

            “No!” I objected.

            “Why not?”

            “Because by morning, it won’t even matter! We’ll be back in Craig’s world and all of this will be behind us! And that’ll be the end of it! Understood?” My harsh tone must’ve gotten through to him. He didn’t say another word about it for the rest of the night.

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            While we were all sleeping in our separate rooms that night, I was awakened by a loud crash in the room nearest mine – which was the lab. I was so exhausted that I slept in my sweater, leggings, and boots, so I didn’t have to waste any time getting dressed to check on the noise.

            When I got there, I was met with an unsettling sight: the stasis pod where Al-Lee’s body was kept had been busted open…and Al-Lee’s body was gone. There was a trail of bloody footprints from where the glass shards were scattered, leading out of the lab. I tracked them all the way back to the console room and discovered that they led straight out through the exiting doors.

            “What happened?” I was relieved to have heard Neas’s voice when he and Craig showed up in the room, both safe and unharmed. Just like me, they were already dressed.

            “Al-Lee’s escaped,” I alerted.

            “Al-Lee? The Terminator girl?” Craig inquired. We briefed him on the situation with her before we visited Kristin and Dale. “She’s gotten out of the TARDIS?! That cannot be good!”

            “It’s certainly not, lil’ bro,” Neas concurred with a burdensome sigh.

            As we deliberated on Al-Lee’s whereabouts, Neas suddenly received a call on his smartphone. He briefly glanced at the caller I.D. and then shot me a guilty look. After some hesitation, he addressed the caller, “Hello, Mrs. Sydney.”

            Mrs. Sydney being Kristin – the surname she adopted from her marriage to Dale.

            I wanted to scold Neas right there and then for giving out his phone number – exclusive only to people in our circle (such as U.N.I.T., the Doctor, Torchwood America, the Protectorate, or any of our close friends, like Craig) – to his mother of all people. I figured he must have provided it to her, sometime between dinner and when we left, or whenever I wasn’t paying attention.

            The only thing that kept a restraint over my frustration was my concern for my former wife. “What did she say?” I asked after the call ended.

            Neas looked at me unnervingly. “They had an intruder…Dale’s disappeared.”

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